Sorry Sir, you Chose the WRONG kid..

Avery's occupational therapist (who we LOVE,) has been giving us great advice on how to overcome some of her troubling behaviors. She doesn't have many, HOWEVER, she has picked up some undesirable behaviors since she has started school last fall. (Im sure she has passed on some of her loveliness to other kids too, there are no victims here.)

The hardest one that we as a family are trying to iron out right now is Avery's shrieking and dropping. Let me give you a visual. Imagine. We are in Costco on a Saturday morning (so pretty much everything from this point on is our fault for even GOING to Costco on a Saturday morning.) Avery is furiously flapping her straws about four feet behind us, as per usual. All of a sudden we hear the noise that makes both Jason and I's stomach hit the floor. We look at each other and instantly know what's about to happen, it all happens so fast, but in slow motion at the same time! We turn around JUST in time to see Avery look down at one straw that just hit the floor as she throws the other one through the air while simultaneously falling to the ground with a yell. Im sorry, more like.... that noise that comes out of a twelve year old girl seeing One Direction in person. It's painful. And undoubtedly heard by every ear in Costco.

And there lies Avery. For about three minutes. Which in parent/Costco time is a millennia. So, what does one do?

Back to Avery's OT. He mentioned that maybe one of us joins Avery on the floor in order to give her validation that we understand that she's having a hard time and we can problem solve together. Man, when I heard this, I was like, "Yes! Thats genius! She would love that!" I made a mental note thinking I was for SURE going to give this a try. At home. With no judge-y, crazy, Saturday Costco-goers' eyes on me.

Go with me back to our current Costco situation. Now i'm faced with a potential social-suicidal situation. To sit? or not to sit?

I sat.

And immediately locked eyes on my kid so that I could pretend that EVERYONE in the Vancouver area were not looking at me with terror in their eyes, i'm sure.

The worst part?

It worked. I put on my best nice-mom voice, picked up the straws, placed them back in Avery's hands and told her that it was a "small problem, no big deal." She popped up, (like, ALOT faster than I did.) Leaving me. On the ground. In the middle of Costco. For AT LEAST 20 seconds.

I digress.

Now, on to the story that I actually wanted to share. About two weeks ago at church, Ollie and I were taking our time walking through the parking lot while Avery and Jason scurried on in. Avery LOVES Sunday School, so she usually beats us to the kids place. Expecting to just meet them in the back, Ollie and I stopped when we see Avery laying star-like in the middle of the pathway with church-goers looking at her with confusion, but still managing a smile and walking by. (Church is the best, at least people still fake-smile through my pain.)

I immediately began to asses the situation. Avery didn't look like she was in any distress, no tears, straws in hand, just star-fishing on the floor. I look at Jason with the "What the heck" question on my face and he looks at me nervously and side eyes the poor old man standing at one of the entrance doors to the sanctuary.

Clearly now was not the time to discuss what had happened. And our church is NOT small, so mind you, Avery was still creating a massive road block. With a strained smile to the uncomfortable looking greeter man...

I sat.

Again with the nice-mom voice. Explaining that it was a small problem and of course bribing her with the cheese balls that we both knew Avery would soon be feasting on in her classroom. And two for two- it worked! We both quietly got up, and it was business as usual.

On the way down the hall- as soon as we were out of earshot of the greeter. I look at Jason and all that he says is, "That dude chose the wrooooooong kid, poor guy." I didn't understand.

What I didn't see is that the greeter had a stack of programs that he was handing out and as Avery walked by, like any nice old man would do, he "booped" Avery lightly on top of the head with his stack of programs. In a friendly, fun way, of course.

Hahahahahahahaha

He chose the wrong kid.

That was all it took to make Avery melt to the ground like she was dying.

He hasn't made eye contact with us since.

So, nice old man, if you're reading this:

We appreciate your dedication to handing out programs with a smile on your face every Sunday. We would still love to be friends, but we have a weird kid. So watch out.