Is my life blog worthy? Probably not.

Okay. For those who don't know me or my little family, i'm Bekah (Millennial mother- disclaimer) and my family consists of my husband Jason, our 2 1/2 year old named Avery, and Oliver who is now 3 months old (what?!)

I cannot claim to know anything about blogging, or really anything about how to be a mother, BUT, I have had JUST enough people in the last few months ask me about our "story" (Which I feel like they only ask because we must clearly have one. You don't get to disaster-level 10 without having some kind of "story.") So here goes nothing.

Ive deleted about ten sentences so far where this one goes, trying to perfectly phrase the spaghetti bowl of thoughts in my head. Also, another disclaimer coming your way! This is in no way an outlet for any sob story that I desperately want positive reinforcement for, rather a way for me to maybe help anyone better understand our position. Hey! Maybe some of you are in a similar chapter of your lives!

I guess I should start with Avery. She is our foster daughter (the 5th child that we have had in our home.) Everyone in Avery's little village would tell you that she is the happiest and sweetest little girl, and they wouldn't be wrong. But I am going to be very candid, because what is there to hide? Avery was placed with us a year ago, when she was about 16 months old. Upon placement she was a cute little kid who was "maybe" a "little" delayed. Okay. We could work with that. As the months flew by (because man, they have been a whirlwind of pure joy,) we noticed that maybe she is just a little bit more delayed than previously observed. Hey, we can take on anything, right?

Fast forward to about five months ago (March-ish.) Here I am, six months pregnant with a little 2 year old girl who is so clearly our daughter now, who has no words, and has not even begun to walk. With weekly physical therapy and no signs of walking in the near future I went into panic mode. Yikes. Okay. Two kids on my hips, two kids in strollers. We can still handle anything... right?

This is just about the same time that we find out that adoption is on the table. ADOPTION!? We have been WAITING for this, this little girl who we prayed for everyday may actually be able to be a part of our little family FOREVER.

FOREVER- a forever daughter and sister for us, and a forever family for our little girl. Take a second and think about our new position. We have the most amazing little girl, who we now know is extremely drug-effected (In utero- and during the first year of her life,)has been diagnosed with "global developmental delays," autistic, and non-verbal.

What do you do?

Now that you know... can you tell me the correct answer? Because we need some help.

When I say we are going in blind- that is an understatement. Jason and I started out doing foster care because we had an extra room in our house and lots of love to give before starting a family of our own. Now we have the cutest little baby boy (totally biased, take it or leave it,) and this perfect little girl who fell into our laps- one that has a VERY unpredictable future. And for those of you that know me- the word unpredictable makes me want to vomit.

So, if you're still reading, you must REALLY be invested, and we thank you for that! It takes a village, that is for sure, and we have an AMAZING one. Even though each day is literally one disaster to the next, we are figuring it out! Our house may look like a "hodge-podgey" mess of pictures of straws (don't get me started on the straws,) cups, stop signs, go signs, snacks, and on and on and on... but I have no doubt that Avery will thrive in our little family.

Maybe you have a kiddo or know of one who is like mine! Maybe they touch heads instead of give hugs, they might even flap and rock instead of say "Im so excited, mom!" or they might shake your whole world when they make eye contact, because man is that rare. Whatever it is, if I can do it, I promise you can too! Are we crazy for choosing to invite years and years of crazy into our lives? Probably. But it is going to make for an awesome "story!" Can someone submit me to TLC now? I'd love my own TV show- thanks!