Autism and Inflation

I was walking through the grocery store yesterday with my list in hand (to attempt to stay in some kind of budget-lane,) when I realized for the millionth time this month that Autism and inflation are not... simpatico. As I reach for another one of my "Avery" items, I'm trying my hardest to evade the price label. "Don't look, don't look, don't look.." Avery makes out pretty good in the grocery department, I must say. Oliver on the other hand..

Siblings of kids with Autism either make out like bandits or get the short end of the stick, and not much in between. For example, Christmas morning? Oliver will probably end up with more gifts and Avery won't even care because she's already burnt out from unwrapping the first two. Another example? Grocery shopping.

Oliver gets generic EVERYTHING. That kid is none-the-wiser and I'm keeping it that way. For Avery? Its name brand or bust. If it's an item that I can remove from the wrapping and hand her, I can sometimes get away with an off-brand product . But if its a food item that requires unwrapping upon consumption, there's NO fooling that fool.

Yesterday morning before I left for the grocery store, Avery asked for popcorn. Now im confronted with the morning's latest conflict. Do I tell her that we are out of her favorite popcorn and that im making a run to the store? Or do I do the cute little dance where I grab one of two off-brand bags I have on backup and bust it open, get it in the microwave, and into a bowl before she notices? This probably requires Jason doing something crazy to keep her attention somewhere else, which I'm not completely opposed to, we love a goofy dad moment!

I know you're dying to find out what happened. Well, I did the dance, got her popped popcorn in a bowl, presented it to her, and she knew INSTANTLY that it was not her "ACTII Butter Lovers" usual. So what did I do? Ate the popcorn, got in my car, and headed to the popcorn isle at Winco.

This is just one of her necessary name-brand staples. One bag of Doritos, string cheese, BBQ Pringles, Chocolate pop tarts, Otter-pops, popcorn, Apple juice, Dino nuggs, hot dogs, goldfish, Kraft Mac and cheese, and forty boxes of Zebra Cakes later- the only budget I have left is for Oliver's generic snacks. He doesn't mind, thank goodness. But imagine all of the extra Amazon purchases I could be making with money saved from generic Avery purchases!

Jason and I always joke about having an "Autism Fund" when it comes to out-of-nowhere purchases that we have to make to save our sanity. Not to mention the items that we have to have double of, in case of emergency. Jason and I aren't the only ones who fear the wrath of Avery when one of her staples is... unavailable. Even friends and family have gotten backups of ridiculous items to avoid future meltdowns! Imagine living a life where something of yours breaks or runs out, and everyone around you rushes to re-meet that need as quickly as they can... what a life.

Anyways, uh, excuse me, US Government, can you hear me? Our autism fund has been at exactly zero dollars ever since Avery's adoption. Could you please consider lowering the price of popcorn? I could try to get Avery to write you a 'Thank you' letter, or something.

Inflation is serious, especially in this household, where an unmet need means being "grounded" by Avery. Its high stakes around here, and I need you fellow Autism parents to know that you aren't alone! If I had a penny for every time Avery has banished me to "sit on the stairs!" for handing her a s'mores poptart hoping to pass off as a chocolate? I'd be a bagillionaire.

So until next shopping trip, here we are. Avery at the table eating her name brand hotdogs (which in hotdog world, is pretty boujee,) while Oliver sits right next to her, eating his kid themed charcuterie board (becuase I only have the mental capacity for one picky child,) made up of all generic products- without a care in the world- PHEW!