Anyone Interested in a Poop Bath?

Yep, you read that right. First let me start off by letting you all know that I have been a stay-at-home-mom for two weeks now. If you are wondering why I haven't been given a TV show documenting my disaster of a household, then you are not alone.

If you're new to my blog, I have two awesome kiddos.

Oliver is going to be 9 months old in a few weeks, and he is one of the happiest babies I have EVER seen.

Avery will be three next month, however she has the mental capacity of about a one year old. All this to say, give my kid a break for the train wreck of a day we have had.

Avery has been having a few rough days, she has not wanted to eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner, she's had a fever, and her poor tummy has been rock hard. In the guessing game that is her health, I immediately went for the grape juice and all natural constipation ease. At this point it has been about three days since she has pooped (sorry, TMI.)

Side note: There are also these little gas drops that they make for babies that I give her from time to time and man are those things amazing!

Anyways, this evening she was really hurting. Walking around saying "OWWW!" with big tears in her eyes, waddling uncomfortably, and just absolutely glued to my side.

It's always a hard decision whether or not to take her in to the doctor. Not because I am a horrible parent, but walk through it with me:

At what point is it of any value to take her in unless I see something very clearly wrong?

We take her to see a doctor where we give him or her the usual "nonverbal autism" speech just to disclaim why we do not know what is wrong. What happens next is the worst. Avery screams when her temperature is taken, screams when her ears get looked at, screams when her mouth gets looked at, and screams when she's being poked and pushed on to pin point uncomfortableness. After all of that, if some kind of scan is necessary, she will probably have to be put completely out. When all of that is said and done, I have a scared and confused little girl coming out of anesthesia, still with no answers.

Needless to say, we do NOT go to the doctors office willy-nilly (unless a well-child check up is needed, of course.)

So, what do we do with our sweet girl?

Give her a bath of course!!! If only you could see the joy that bath time brings her! I let her sit in there for as long as she wants when she's feeling yucky. We just hang out, and re-warm the water every ten minutes or so until she's a prune and feeling happier.

Disclaimer: Avery has pooped many a time in her bath when she was younger..... so naturally I thought we were over that...... wrong.

I turn my back for one second during bath time tonight.. only to find a cute little girl laying backwards in the water with her face sticking out, (you know the way, mermaid style. I know you wish you could still do it every once in a while!) the only difference this time was the color of the water and the sudden atrocious smell.

The bath tub needed a good bleach down, right?

The worst part of this whole scene was that she was SO HAPPY!

Just in her happy place, swimming around that bath tub.. in her own poop.

So what do you do? You laugh, that's all you can do!

I mean, really, at the end of the day, the bath did the trick, it really got things moving (you're welcome!)

After moving her to the shower and re-soaping everything, Avery was a happy camper! Do I wish she would have kept her poop in until after bath-time? DUH.

Would I rather her swim in her own poop for a minute than have her screaming in pain?....DUH!

Sorry guys, but if a poop-bath is what saves the day, so be it!

Welcome to a day in the life of a millennial mother who stumbled upon the cutest and most disastrous little autistic girl around.